Stay-at-home-mom insults sister-in-law for attending a branch campus of University of Toronto because she attended the main campus: 'I asked how she's using her degree'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2025 12:00 PM EST

When you're applying to college, the ranking of the schools is always in the back of your head. You want to attend the most prestigious school you can get into, but there are factors that can prohibit that. Cost is a big one. Ivy League schools usually have better financial aid than most top 20 schools, but if you want to go to University of Chicago or Duke out of state, it will likely cost you at least $70K a year. For many high-achieving students, it makes way more sense to attend University of Oklahoma with a full ride than to go into debt to go to Cornell, even if they're sacrificing access to that Alumni network.

There can be a lot of stigma around attending branch campuses of major universities. Some people think that everyone who goes to The Ohio State University at Lima goes there because they couldn't get into the more prestigious The Ohio State University in Columbus, and that's just untrue. Branch campuses often cost less and are more commuter friendly. Even if a branch campus is less prestigious, a degrees a degree, and it matters what you do with it more than where it's from.

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  • Brown brick building near green trees during daytime on University of Toronto campus
    via Narciso Arellano

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The mom in this story insulted her sister-in-law for implying that they went to the same school when her sister-in-law attended a branch campus of University of Toronto. The sister-in-law didn't let her off without a quip of her own, but now she's questioning whether she went too far.

  • Am I the bad guy for asking my sister in law what she's doing with her degree after she implied my university wasn't prestigious enough?

    Last night my husband, our 2 year old daughter and I were at my in-laws. My sister- in-law and her husband and kids were there too.
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • The topic of one of their cousin's kids going to university came up. We talked about how going to a good university helps in networking.
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • I mentioned how I had gotten my first Business Analyst job because my interviewer had also gone to UofT.
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  • Job seeker in job interview meeting with manager and interviewer at corporate office
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • At this point my SIL chimed in with "UofT Mississauga right? So not the actual one?" My husband said politely that its the same thing and she just shrugged.
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • I asked her where she went, she said she went to UofT and added St.George Campus.
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • I then asked how she's using her degree (I knew shes a SAHM so thats why Im here that might have been an AH thing to say).
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • A mother with two little daughters sitting on sofa and resting at home
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She said she chose to be a SAHM mom and kind of stopped talking to me.
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • My husband thinks I was out of line. Admittedly I didn't think it through when I said it, just said what came to my mind.
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  • He says her question was tactless but not malicious. I said it was rude and thats what mattered.
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  • And the premise of it was just wrong. But I have been reconsidering it. She has texted him about how out of line I was.
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  • He's told her it was a misunderstanding between everyone and to let it go. AITA?
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  • Impossible_Turn_7627 Soft ESH. She was rude to imply your degree is worth less than hers. You were rude to imply that you think she's wasted her degree. You didn't have to take the bait :/
    via u/Impossible_Turn_7627
  • OP Active_Storage_1275 I know. If I could do it again, I'd probably be more graceful in my response. We acted like immature kids, in front of our own kids.
    via u/Active_Storage_1275
  • cwesson88 NTA- she had something to say about the campus you went to and was 100% being rude because she felt like her's was better. And your question was valid what is she doing with her degree? She sounds like one of those people who like to talk about everyone but can't stand when it someone gives it back.
    via u/cwesson88
  • Happy_Raspberry 1984 Eh NTA. The UofT thing might not make sense to a lot of redditors. The St George campus is the main one, while Mississauga and Scarborough can be seen as lesser, which is what the SIL was likely implying here. Yes, OP went low but really only after the SIL did first.
    via u/Happy_Raspberry1984
  • Lindbluete NTA. I will always hate people who can dish it out but not take it. She wanted to put you down and couldn't deal with the clapback. In my opinion, rude is only the person who started it. Sure, we could all be perfect adults and be above it all, but that's just gonna reinforce the rude behaviour. Your husband is like those teachers that will turn a blind eye until the bullied kid fights back.
    via u/Lindbluete
  • NTA bookworm-1960 She was rude and belittling to you simply based on the campus you went to. You gave as good as you got. If she can't handle it, she shouldn't dish it out. Why is your husband not having your back?
    via u/bookworm-1960
  • Familiar_Benefit_776 NTA - "not the actual one" is the clincher. It was passive aggressive and she knew what she was doing, not an innocent question. If someone's going to be rude to you then they should expect it back, I don't think what you said was any worse and you're under no obligation to just sit there and take it.
    via u/Familiar_Benefit_776
  • Friendlyalterme As a fellow torontonian: she makes no sense. The degree you get from U of T never lists your campus. It's the same damn school
    via u/Friendlyalterme
  • Flat Tumbleweed_2192 She started it. She deserved it. FAFO.
    via u/Flat_Tumbleweed_2192
  • zaleli NTA. You matched her energy. No reason at all for her to try and - less than- your degree because of campus location, if she's feeling bad about her life she does not get to try and transfer that to you. It sounds like a pretty regrettable exchange all the way around, but, she fired first
    via u/zaleli
  • Last night my husband, our 2 year old daughter and I were at my in-laws. My sister- in-law and her husband and kids were there too.
    via u/zaleli
  • The topic of one of their cousin's kids going to university came up. We talked about how going to a good university helps in networking.
    via u/zaleli

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